I totally agree with what you said about tough love. Sam clearly is a junkie right now, and Dean knows it. There's no way Dean is going to trust him at this point, especially after being lied to in the face so many times already.
I think the context of Dean saying "monster" goes like this: Sam asks Dean to trust him. Dean says no. Sam claims he knows what he's doing. Dean says that's even worse, coz it's not what he's doing, it's what he is. It means he's a... *pause* Sam knows what the unsaid word is, and wants Dean to say it. I think it hurts Sam the most to have Dean think him a monster. So when Dean said it, Sam flipped out. The thing is I don't believe Dean really thinks Sam as a monster. Dean doesn't believe Sam knows what he's doing. But he was pushed by Sam to say the word out loud. In his mind, the word is a warning to Sam that's what he would become if he doesn't stop.
The only mistake I think Dean possibly made during this confrontation is delivering the ultimatum to Sam. He knew what Sam was like, he knew Sam doesn't respond well under this kind of threat. But in Dean's defense, I totally understand why he said it. He was at his wits end at that moment, and hurt by Sam's attack on his person. The thing is I'm a believer of never say things one's not prepared to carry out. I have no doubt Dean will welcome Sam with open arms if he so choose to come back, just like John did. Even though I fervently wish to see that to happen, I'm afraid that would not teach Sam not to ditch his family just because it suits him.
I also agree with your take on Sam was not in control when he choked Dean. The look on Sam's face was something terrible. His features were all twisted. He was a different person altogether.
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I think the context of Dean saying "monster" goes like this: Sam asks Dean to trust him. Dean says no. Sam claims he knows what he's doing. Dean says that's even worse, coz it's not what he's doing, it's what he is. It means he's a... *pause* Sam knows what the unsaid word is, and wants Dean to say it. I think it hurts Sam the most to have Dean think him a monster. So when Dean said it, Sam flipped out. The thing is I don't believe Dean really thinks Sam as a monster. Dean doesn't believe Sam knows what he's doing. But he was pushed by Sam to say the word out loud. In his mind, the word is a warning to Sam that's what he would become if he doesn't stop.
The only mistake I think Dean possibly made during this confrontation is delivering the ultimatum to Sam. He knew what Sam was like, he knew Sam doesn't respond well under this kind of threat. But in Dean's defense, I totally understand why he said it. He was at his wits end at that moment, and hurt by Sam's attack on his person. The thing is I'm a believer of never say things one's not prepared to carry out. I have no doubt Dean will welcome Sam with open arms if he so choose to come back, just like John did. Even though I fervently wish to see that to happen, I'm afraid that would not teach Sam not to ditch his family just because it suits him.
I also agree with your take on Sam was not in control when he choked Dean. The look on Sam's face was something terrible. His features were all twisted. He was a different person altogether.
Thanks for commenting. It's much appreciated!